Turning 30

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I turned 30. Yep! On June 22nd (#yayforcancers) I transitioned to an age I never thought would come so fast. I’ve heard so many different things and thoughts on turning 30. There is those who definitively don’t care, those who will kindly try to reassure me by either saying that I’m still young or that it is only a number, and there are a few people that totally get how I feel, meaning lost, stressed out, so unsatisfied and stuck. I know 30 is still young but I’d say that most people around me at 30 (or worst, at like 22) are somewhat where they wished or worked for. Is it me that didn’t work hard enough? Is it me that don’t know how to make connections or friends? How can I finally achieve part of what I want, how can I be headed in the ‘’right’’ direction? I feel so much pressure to BE someone.

I thought I’d be fit, I’m not, I pushed it away. I thought I’d still be a singer, but after my EP things kind of fell apart. I thought I’d be travelling, I’m not. I thought I’d have some financial stability, I don’t. I do have great things in my life, I know, but what strikes me at 30 is what I don’t have.

My wish for this new decade is to realize my dreams. I want to find solutions to my ‘’problems’’ and move foward. I want to make music with awesome musicians. I want to continue my blog and be more creative. I’d love to make new friends. I will care even less about comments on how crazy I am, how too passionate or curious I am, how I rarely hesitate to talk with people and make new connections. Who cares honestly? I’m already 30, what do I have to waist now? Nothing.

I want to be even more in synch with what I truly want. I don’t know if I want kids and I have to come to terms with that. I have anxiety, it’s ok I’ll get through it.

I have been suggested to do a list, a 5 year plan, a 10 year plan, and I will do so, trying to figure out what my next steps are. I’d love to do the Lulu Lemon’s 10 year plan. I’d love also this year to try Bullet journaling .

Happy birthday to everyone who is turning 30 this year! x

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